The Importance of LGBTQ+ Carer Groups
Caring can be rewarding, but it can also be exhausting, isolating and emotionally demanding. For LGBTQ+ Carers, these pressures are often heightened by assumptions, a lack of visible inclusion, and uncertainty about whether services are truly safe spaces.
Recent research by Forward Carers found a clear demand for LGBTQ+-specific support:
- 73.5% of respondents said they would prefer to access a Carer support group specifically for LGBTQ+ Carers.
Several Carers told us that, in general groups, conversations often assume everyone is heterosexual, making it harder to share openly about their personal life or feeling really understood.
Personal stories from LGBTQ+ Carers indicate that specific support groups have been “life-changing”.
Anthony
Anthony has supported his mum since her dementia diagnosis in 2019, balancing extensive caring responsibilities with a full-time NHS role. After his mum’s stroke in 2022, the pressures increased significantly.
He shared that as an LGBTQ+ carer, assumptions are sometimes made about his availability and responsibilities:
“It is presumed by health & social care professionals that this should be my role rather than just being able to be my Mum’s son.”
Anthony joined a monthly LGBTQ+ carers group in Manchester and described it as the only place he could truly express himself as both a gay man and a carer:
“Having a support network enabled me to give myself some time to focus on what is important to me, in a safe space where there is no judgement.”
Although the group’s funding has ended, Anthony says it helped him recognise the scale of his caring role and the urgent need for more spaces like it.
Elsie
Elsie is a young LGBTQ+ carer supporting her disabled and autistic partner while studying at university. Her caring role developed gradually, and formal recognition as a carer helped her feel validated:
“It can feel uncomfortable to mention to new people that I am my partner’s carer, they often think it’s odd as we’re so young, but I have found that being part of the LGBTQ+ community makes this a lot easier because my relationship is already “abnormal” and the queer community feels like a much safer place to express how my relationship works.”
Through Bristol Uni Neurodiversity Society, Elsie found a community where she felt seen as both a carer and an LGBTQ+ person:
“Being around people that I can actually identify with… has been really supportive and has made me feel less alone.”
Her message to other younger LGBTQ+ carers is: even if lots of support feels aimed at older, straight carers, there are communities out there that will fit you — it can just take time and persistence to find them.
Cecilia
Cecilia cares full-time for her 87-year-old mother, who has dementia. She gave up her job and home to ensure her mum’s safety and wellbeing.
After struggling alone for two years, she found an LGBTQ+ Carers group at Wandsworth Carers’ Centre, which she calls her “angels”.
Cecilia likened the group to the instinctive understanding you get from a lifelong best friend.
She said: “The group has been fantastic because we tell each other our stories…… There’s an understanding there about what it’s like the being that little bit different, and in many cases, having to protect yourself specifically because of that.
“I can’t tell you the difference it’s made to me, I can’t qualify it or quantify it. I’m sure I appear quite happy because I am compared to the way I was before I joined that group”.
Hilary
After Pauline’s vascular dementia diagnosis, she and her wife Hilary attended both mainstream and LGBTQ+-specific dementia groups. While mainstream services were welcoming, LGBTQ+ spaces were “life changing.”
Hilary explains:
“The three different [LGBTQ+] groups have all been vital to our own individual journey and acceptance. If we hadn’t had them it would have been like losing a limb.”
She found that in mixed groups she felt unable to fully be herself. In LGBTQ+-specific spaces, they could speak openly about personal and intimate matters without having to explain or justify their relationship.
Hilary insists “it’s hugely important for Pauline and me to be able to attend the Rainbow Memory Café as a couple…… In a gay group one feels safe and free to be able to discuss very personal subjects that others in the group know about and have experienced.”
Hilary found a “mainstream” carers group just didn’t hit the spot. “Having already had the experience of the Rainbow Carers group, where everyone is gay, I felt so awkward when I attended an online group where everyone else was heterosexual. I was immediately aware I was not able to be myself. It wasn’t for me, and I quit after one session.”
After a lifetime of navigating prejudice, feeling safe and understood in later life is not optional — it is essential.
Looking Ahead
These stories highlight a consistent message: LGBTQ+ Carers need safe, inclusive spaces where they can speak openly, feel understood, and access support without having to explain who they are.
Forward Carers is exploring the launch of an LGBTQ+ Carers Group — online, in person, or both — shaped by the people who will use it.
If you are an LGBTQ+ Carer, or support someone who is, and would like to be involved, please contact:
bernie.huntingdon@forwardcarers.org.uk
